The Trench of Endurance and Acceptace

I've been going to the gym for about three weeks now, and I'm compelled to contemplate my limitations with great self-compassion, and my breakthroughs with great self-reverence. I continue to push my physical and psychological limits like a motherfucker; I went from believing to be inadequate to becoming a waitress who serves hundreds of different people a month, face to face, sometimes heart to heart. I went from the fearfulness of monetary scarcity to the fruits of working my ass off to attain fair money - and more than often less than I work for. Taking care of my self - from a chiropractic alignment to a gym and a trainer, to the soon-to-be eye-checking that will endow me with tools to look at the world cristalinamente. My home is standing, and on the rise. I must only trust myself.

The time to sell myself short is coming to a certain end. I always thought that self-realization would take a most-favoured shape, applauded by those whom I love, appreciate and admire, but I'm beginning to realize that though it is a process we all go through as human beings, I must walk through it and dig down its marvelous and terrifying depths alone. I can't help but remember the elder days where I was free from all the bullshit of the world, and in my heart I knew the greater truths of freedom and compassion and transcendence to be a reality - but truth is, I'm not there right now. Awareness comes and goes, though it is always there. I accept the place in which I am right now, and I'm open to the greater possibilities that are to come, activated by my power.

I also realize my briefness and broadness. It comes with the turning of the knob and the pushing of the door of my true Self. Vulnerability will come in due time.

Soreness for the Greatest Good

So, in the past few days I have embarked on a conscious Journey of transformation; sure, taking small steps at a time, but the mere fact that I'm choosing to make changes has made me feel empowered, excited, and hopeful:

I joined the gym (my physical assessment is today), have gone twice to the chiropractor, and since Tuesday I decided to become a pescatarian again (a vegetarian who eats fish). I feel renewed, though the road goes ever on and on, and there's so much yet left to do, but my first steps have been powerful and of great value. I know that these decisions will affect my body and Spirit positively, and once my Chi (life energy) goes through the roof, UH OOOH!!! WATCH OUT WORLD!!! A pinata of artistic expression, extraordinary actions and excellence will burst - the world around me will be showered with the confetti of my authentic self.

Oh, and on Saturday I'm adopting a dog. I am so excited I might poop my pants when I see him/her... I'll just wear my Depends.